What real boys have to say:"A lot of people use words like 'psycho' or 'wacko' to refer to people who are feeling glum or think they might want to take their own life. I think these sorts of slang terms create further isolation in a teen, and that's not what you want to do to a teen who already feels alone" —Alexander, 18, from a small town in the South"A guy is supposed to be strong, tall, and fast and have the qualities of an ideal athlete. At the same time he's supposed to be smart. He's expected to be nearly perfect." —Chandler, 14, from a suburb in the Northwest"What I hate about this school is that I am being picked on in the halls and just about everywhere else." —Cody, 14, from a suburb in New EnglandIn Real Boys, Dr. William Pollack explored the issues that most boys in our nation face today. In this fascinating follow-up bestseller, Pollack goes right to the source: boys ages 10 to 20-evoking the secret struggles and passions of America's adolescent males in their own words. Their voices are searingly honest and eager to be heard, revealing how society's outdated expectations force them to mask their feelings of isolation, depression, longing, love, and hope. We hear from boys and young men in big cities and small towns-including survivors of the Columbine High School massacre-who share compelling, extrordinarily candid stories about bullying, drugs, sports, school, parents, sex, love, and much more. Pollack also offers ways to start a dialog and illustrates through templates what to do in many situations. This is an eye-opening book for teenage boys and girls, but-with its insights and strategies for dealing with their issues-especially invaluable for all the people in their lives.
Inhaltsverzeichnis
Introduction: Listening to Boys' Voices
A Nationwide Journey
Moments of Doubt
Helping Boys to Be Themselves
Reaching Out and Listening to Boys: A New Approach
Getting Behind the Mask
The Real Boys' Voices Project
Part I: The Secret Emotional Lives of Boys
1. The Secret Emotional Lives of America's Boys: What They're Really Talking About
2. Taking Off the Gender Straitjacket
3. The Mask of Masculinity and the Double Life: Suppression and Bravado
4. The Angst of Becoming a Man: Coming of Age
5. Of Two Minds: Having Sex with Girls
6. The Pressure to Work and Succeed
7. Spirituality and Renewal
8. Bullying and Teasing: Fitting In and Being Left Out: Overcoming Bullying; What If Your Child Is Bullying?; What Should Boys Who Are Bullied Know?
9. Sadness, Depression, and Suicide: Sad Boys or Bad Boys?: Is He Bad or Is He Sad?; How Do You Tell if a Boy Is Depressed?
Part II: The Cycle of Rage and Violence
10. Traumatic Violence: Listening to Boys from Littleton, Colorado
11. The Columbine Syndrome: Fear of Violence
12. Abuse
Part III: Boys Reaching Out and Connecting
13. Love for Mother
14. The Dad Connection
15. Friendships and Romances with Girls
16. Having Male Buddies
17. Emotional Intensity: Connecting Through Sports
18. Coming Out as Gay and Supporting Those Who Do
Part IV: Dealing with Loss, Loneliness, and Shame
19. Pumping and Crunching: Body Image and the Media
20. The Sting of Divorce
21. Addictions: Drugs, Alcohol, and the Media
22. Loss: Coping with Injury, Illness, and Death
Part V: Boys in the World
23. Overcoming Hatred, Racism, and Poverty: Justice and Action Talk
24. Music, Art, and Writing: Boys Talk Through Creativity
Epilogue: Mentoring Boys and Creating Safe Spaces: A 15-Step Program
