Poison for Breakfast

Dear Reader,
Are you confused? Do you have any idea what is going on? Of course you are, and of course you don't.
This book is about bewilderment, a word which here means not having the faintest idea what is going on at any given time. It is also something of a murder-mystery, in which a dreadful crime is investigated in the hopes of finding out what happened to the poor murdered victim. The person investigating is me. So is the poor murdered victim.
The clues in this investigation include a suspicious stranger, an upsetting supermarket, the strange way literature is made, painful embarrassment, long songs, improperly prepared eggs, and other things which I happen to think are important.
Some people might call Poison for Breakfast a book of philosophy, and hardly anyone likes a book of philosophy. When a person begins to investigate this bewildering world and their own inevitable death, they begin to suffer from a deeply troubling kind of bewilderment experienced by anyone foolish enough to love literature.
Unless you are that sort of person, I recommend reading something else entirely.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket