TommyInnit's Guide to Survival

It' s a cruel, cruel world out there. Trust me, I' ve seen it. You' re pretty much doomed unless you know how to survive. Which you don' t. Which I do. Which is why I have written the ultimate survival guide to life.

My name is TommyInnit. I' ve been around the block these past twenty years. I' ve seen things you couldn' t handle. I' ve eaten things you couldn' t taste. Handled taxes in ways that (probably) won' t get you arrested.

Always prepped for the apocalypse, I know a thing or two about surviving.

Don' t believe me? Here' s proof.

Things I' ve survived:

- Death of loved ones
- Swans
- Other stuff

So you see? This book is going to change you. Let' s begin.